Mother Goose..

So today I worked a typical twelve hour day with its tumultuous ups and downs that is completely traditional of being a bartender in NYC. My family had given me plenty of notice that I was to be expecting a package from them but would not elaborate as to what it was. I've been eagerly expecting this package, thinking initially that it was probably a bunch of forms from my student loan company. My Mom would not even give me a hint. Today, my neighbor kindly signed for it as I was at work. I worked a long shift and forgot all about it. I got home and the package was sitting on my coffee table. I saw my Mom's beautiful handwriting on the front and immediately missed her. I did not open it right away. I just stared at her writing and realized how much I wanted to curl up into her lap and be the 11 year old scared little girl that I am that only a Mommy can truly comfort. And then I opened it. And I realized how much my Mother truly loves me. An umbrella for the NYC rainy season that is about to descend. A new purse. Adorable and comfortable pajamas. Candy. Pictures of Easter egg hunts of past that we all loved. A card expressing how much my family misses me. And I realized in that exact second that I've been selfish. I've not thought of how much my move here has affected my family. I cannot believe that I didn't realize how hard this transition has been for my Mother. One of her ducklings moved thousands of miles away from her. And while my Mother is a strong woman who has her hands in many different pots as her career is concerned, she thinks of me all the time. Easter is a big deal in my family. And I realized that this is the first time I will spend it away from them. She wrapped everything in Easter paper, like she has always done, because that is her kind spirited and giving nature. And it is our tradition. Expressing genuine love and affection has always come hard for me, but I cried. I could smell her perfume all over this package. I miss my Mother and my family. The thoughtfulness while I've felt so abandoned in NY meant more than I think I could ever express to her. I suddenly felt ashamed that I haven't called more. I haven't been more of a presence. Because I cannot imagine how hard it must be for a Mom to miss her kid. And just so you know, Mom, I've spent many nights laying in bed just wishing you were near me so I could curl up in your lap and have you run your fingers through my hair and tell me everything is alright. You have and always will be my comfort, my inspiration, my guidance, and one of my best friends. I love you and cannot believe you did that for me. You're amazing.

I'm so beyond touched that I cannot even express... I love you guys. Thank you for giving me something of home.