Oh Demetri Martin, why can't I meet you?

So tonight I found out that the bar where I work in Williamsburg, Sweet Ups, has a celebrity fan. We have a specialty drink called the Tina Fey. I am a huge, adoring fan of Tina Fey. I've always been a lover of stand-up comedy. Some of my favorite moments in my life were due to moments in comedy history that made my life relevant. Brooklyn Bowl has been a place of solace and refuge for me and I adore my job but I have very much been losing a sense of myself there. The job has become a shoe that I wear and love but sometimes smells really bad and I just flat out need to wear a different pair. I've lost a sense of myself. Sweet Ups has allowed me to find new friends in NY that I desperately needed. There is a certain level of horrible pain that exists there but you learn to endure in this city.

Anyway, back to the non-ADD Misty who can actually focus. Ha! Some of the writers for 30 Rock, my favorite of most favorite shows, come in to the bar. It's NY. It's bound to happen. They apparently approached her and showed her our cocktail menu with her drink name on it and she thought it was hilarious. I cannot convey how unbelievably honored I felt that something I'm involved with could even remotely touch a person's life that I admire so much. What it made me realize was that I have so much capability in me to explore and love NY and that this city really does have so much opportunity here. People come into the bar as tourists in Williamsburg and they are so electrified and wide-eyed about NY. And I just think to myself, "Well I live here. I'm not in awe of the skyline and the buildings anymore." But realistically, I walk by the Empire State Building every day of my privileged life and fail to appreciate just what I really have here. New York is a blanketed sea of professionals, hipsters, artists, bartenders, etc. who all came here for different objectives hoping to find their way. Hoping to find their lives. Hoping to find their dreams. Hoping to find themselves. And whether they do or not, they all can fundamentally enjoy that they are in the greatest city on the face of the Earth. And I've failed to acknowledge that. I've been in a self-referential and totally absorbed world of pain that I couldn't see the gift I've given myself by coming here.

And then I made friends. And they were glorious. I've come back to myself. They have woken me up. Tis true that I am in love with a boy that is out of my league when it comes to emotional intensity and genuine beauty but that is no excuse not to inhale this city into my lungs as hard as I can and hope that I don't choke on the exhale.

NYC in spring is a beautiful, cherished, monumental thing. I only hope that the loneliness of seeing the Guggenheim by myself doesn't disintegrate the relevance of it. Because it shouldn't. And the best you can hope for is being so happy with yourself and the moment that you can value the moment for what it is.

ADD is going to bed....