Bottle of wine and the US loses the hockey gold....

So in an ill-advised haze of alcohol and bad judgment I texted things that should probably not have been said. Here are the highlights:

You know what the best part is about the fact that you've resolutely refused to talk to me? When I text you it feels like talking to a mountain range. There's no response but there's an echo. So it doesn't feel so empty. It's not like talking to yourself. I just kinda got my heart kicked in and it reminded me of old pain. The greatest thing about this stupid city is that I moved here to start over but I hate it here. I'm so cold and lonely all the time. I dream about things that broke me a long time ago. I'm tired of not trusting anyone. NY is kicking the shit out of me. I've pretty much just fallen into pieces and I'm planning my escape. Seven months in and my apartment has become an infected containment pod. Quarantine zone. I still think of you and you pop up in my dreams. Whenever someone really hurts me to a point where I think I won't bounce back you come to mind. You are my constant reminder that no matter how much pain I'm in that I've survived worse. I know you despise me and that nothing about that will change and that you are the last person in the world I should show my vulnerable side to but it's safe because you'll just ignore me. I'm incredibly scared. I've managed not not let guys hurt me over the last two years but one managed to wiggle through. And it was a friend. Very rough. So the last time I was entrenched in a world of misery I left the state. To escape you. This time I think I'm leaving the country. My solution, as always, is to run. I'm done. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. Thanks for being my empty cavern I can talk at.

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Now I'm left with the desolation of no response and the wonder of where to go next. Leave New York? Stop being a wimp and nut up? What?!?!